Considering that I am on the brink of 80, I have, in the natural course of life, experienced losses of loved ones. I did lose both my parents as a young adult (by the time I was 30) as well as my grandparents, but my in-laws supported me. I came to Brookes Place as a result of contact during the years I was a mental health counselor in an elementary school.

I knew how loss had affected many of the children I encountered during those years. I assumed that when I retired, I would interact with the kids.

I took the facilitator training as part of my ongoing licensure certification requirements. I had not retired and didn’t expect to become actively involved as a volunteer until after I retired. However, after training, I had an opportunity to begin facilitating in an adult group with someone I had known through my school experience.

When I retired a year or so later, I was very happy being with the adults. I realized the importance of supporting and companioning the adults who were straight with their grief as well as trying to raise children who were grieving at the same time as they were trying to find their way through their new reality.

When I went through training, we were invited to attend a debriefing the evening we visited a program night. I loved the atmosphere and camaraderie among the facilitators on B night, and I still do! 

It is a joy to see how the group members support one another and often express their gratitude to the group for listening and sharing with one another. They feel it’s a safe place to share details and feelings that are painful and which they may have been shamed for by family or friends. Many times, group members have expressed how just listening to the others has been helpful. 

What is one activity that you and your loved one would enjoy doing together?

After my father died when I was about 24, I honored his memory through gardening for a few years. I remember a photograph when I was very little in the garden where we had planted carrots and maybe tomatoes. He loved roses and chrysanthemums, and I think that inspired me.

My mother was quite a seamstress and made most of my clothes as I was growing up. I was quite aware that I had absorbed a love of sewing- I could learn techniques anywhere, but her love of sewing led me to needlework of various kinds later. I also have fond memories of my father reading Huckleberry Finn to us in the evenings while my mother worked on needlepoint, which became a chair I still have.